what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
