OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
