She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.