Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
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just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
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Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.