So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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