he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
