Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
