i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
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And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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