is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
