in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
