He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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