i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
