her vagina looked like bernie madoff
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
