If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm sobbing to NWA
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
