READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
