After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
