yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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