I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
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She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
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We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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