all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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