i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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