i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
