Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
