Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
