i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
