Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize