I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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