Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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