Im at strip club and am horny
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
