Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize