So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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