Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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