i just had sex bonerless
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
