You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
