Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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