Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Of course I have a pirate flag
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
