I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
