What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
