i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
