Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
