i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
