forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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