She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
