I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
