We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize