Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she looked like the before picture.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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