i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
