I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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