we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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