Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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