I bet he comes in French.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
