I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
