On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
