HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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