You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
