You work out of a Hotel?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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