names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
