I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize