Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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