What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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