Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
