I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
