Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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