Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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