is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
