I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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