U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
