You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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