She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
